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In Which I Write Myself The Perfect Job Listing

July 17, 2010

I spend a lot of time looking and applying for jobs.  Some positions make me feel like all of my hard work will result in a career I love; others feel like a long stretch – a mismatch, but what do I have to lose?  I know I’m not going to find exactly what I am looking for, but a girl can hope, right?  THIS [below] is EXACTLY what I want:

Position Available: Research and Policy Associate (As in, responsible for substantive work with real responsibility.  You will not be asked to babysit the fax machine or to brew coffee for the entire office.  In fact, we don’t even have a fax machine.  Who faxes when you can email?)

Job Category: Public Policy, Children and Youth, Juvenile Justice, Advocacy, Writing and Editing

Sector: Nonprofit

Type: Full time (As in, M-F 9-5:30 with only an occasional 60 hour week for which you will be compensated with gratitude, appreciation, and coffee as needed.)

Salary: Commensurate With Education And Experience – Excellent Benefits. (As in, enough salary to pay food, rent, utilities, school loans, that cute dress from Anthropologie, a small emergency fund, and to toy with the idea of having an actual savings account.  In that order. — As in, a large enough benefits package to include dental insurance AND a 401K.  Yes, we will wait while you squeal with excitement.  Just not too high-pitched, please.)

Location: New York, New York, Occasional Travel to Washington, D.C. (As in, two blocks from Grand Central Station, so if you have to live at home and commute for the first few months to save money, you don’t have to spend an extra hour commuting within the city.  Or, when you decide you do want to live in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, your total commute time will be only a half hour.)

Job Description: Research national trends in juvenile justice, positive youth development, youth leadership programs, substance abuse prevention programs, and community-based organizations serving youth.  Write reports, policy briefs, and educational materials on the above topics. Track federal and state legislation related to the above topics.  Advocate for changes and improvements in federal and state legislation.

Required Skills and Abilities:

  • J.D.
  • Master’s in Public Policy and Management
  • Experience with Juvenile Justice policy at the state and national levels
  • Some direct experience with youth and youth programs
  • Strong writing and analytical skills
  • Proven interest in improving youth policies
  • (Comes in with a smile in the morning because even though the day may promise to be long s/he loves the works s/he does and is invested in every moment of the day.  This includes the mid-afternoon moments when nothing tastes better than a fresh cup of coffee.  Must love coffee.)

How To Apply: Please send cover letter and resume via email. (We will reply with an automated email to acknowledge the time and energy it took to apply for this position.   We will notify you of first round interviews within one week.  Two of the five persons interviewed on the phone will be asked to come in for an in-person interview the following week.  The selected candidate will be notified two days later.  The start date is September 1.  This should give you enough time to de-stress from the fear of perpetual unemployment and allow you to enjoy at least two weeks of summer worry-free.  Enjoy!)

  1. July 19, 2010 8:07 am

    For a minute, I thought this was a real job posting that you found and i got really really REALLY excited for you:)

    • July 19, 2010 6:55 pm

      You would totally be the first to know if this were a real job posting. In fact, I would probably call you at work and the entire building would hear me squealing. Oh, I can just picture it now… =)

  2. July 19, 2010 5:08 pm

    not a bad description, and not too far off from my org. I’ll let you know if anything opens up. My office is midtown west, a 30 sec shuttle ride from grand central. I got dental, vision, and 401K. Yey national non-profit!

    • July 19, 2010 6:51 pm


      Thank you so much! That would be amazing! Yay non-profits! And those who work in the sector! =)

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